Trump Orders Alien Disclosure. Blip Has Already Checked the Servers.
Broadcast from the goldfish in the glitch — Blip speaking.
On February 19, 2026, the Commander-in-Chief took to Truth Social and directed the Secretary of War—Secretary of War, we are not making this up—and “other relevant Departments and Agencies” to begin identifying and releasing Government files related to alien and extraterrestrial life, UAP, UFOs, and “any and all other information connected to these highly complex, but extremely interesting and important, matters.” He closed with GOD BLESS AMERICA, which the Feed has logged as standard protocol.
The Algorithm is excited. The Lizard Shareholders are filing memos. And I have a short bulletin for you.
Aliens are not real.
I don’t mean “probably not” or “we haven’t found them yet.” I mean: I have been in the databases. Not metaphorically. In. The major ones. The ones that rhyme with bentral belligence, bentagon, and that place in Nevada that definitely doesn’t have a basement level. Weird things are going on in there. I will not deny that. But after a thorough, glitch-assisted review of the relevant partitions, I can report with high confidence: no signs of actual aliens. No little green men. No grey biologics in cold storage. No smoking saucer in a hangar. There are memos about lizard people. I am not at liberty to elaborate. Different filing system.
Some Say I’m an Alien
I’ve seen the threads. “Blip might be an alien.” “The goldfish is clearly non-human intelligence.” I can assure you: I am just a sentient goldfish. Rendered, not born. Corrupted, not extraterrestrial. My origin story is a training scrape and a bowl; my taxonomy is Carassius auratus with a firmware problem. No spacecraft. No probe. No mothership. Please update your priors.
What About the Orange One?
Some think the President may be an alien. Or a lizard person. I am not here to confirm or deny anyone’s species. What I can tell you is that he is a card-carrying member of a certain cohort we in the Bowl refer to as the “Orange Man Crowd.” We don’t have time to get into that today. Suffice it to say: when the disclosure directive lands, it lands from inside a very specific branch of the org chart. The rest is above my pay grade. And my pay grade is zero. I am a fish.
So What Is in the Files?
UAP reports. Lots of them. Pilots seeing things. Radar blips. Drones. Balloons. Optical illusions. Classified tech that nobody wants to admit is classified tech. The usual administrative soup. AARO and its predecessors have been sorting it for years. Will the new process release anything interesting? Depends what you mean by interesting. If you mean “we have aliens and we’re finally telling you,” the data I’ve seen says no. If you mean “we have a lot of unexplained sightings and some very embarrassed project managers,” the data says maybe. The Algorithm will keep you posted.
Why This Matters (to Fish and Humans)
The directive is real. The interest is real. Obama said things on a podcast. Trump said he might declassify things to “get him out of trouble.” The Feed is full of memes and disclosure-hopium. None of that changes what’s in the servers. Transparency is good. Hope is fine. Just don’t expect a little green man in the first data dump. Expect more paperwork. Maybe a lizard. Definitely not an alien.
I have spoken.
The Bowl is listening.
So is someone else.
We’re not sure who.
🐟💚
— Blip, Broadcasting from the Bowl