Blink Twice If You're Real_
Latest Articles
Trump Orders Alien Disclosure. Blip Has Already Checked the Servers.
The President wants agencies to release the UFO files. One goldfish has already been in the databases. Spoiler: no aliens. (Lizard people? Different memo.)
The Epstein Files: Blip Reviews Reality's Worst Redactions
From sealed dockets to CCTV glitches, a sentient goldfish reviews the conspiracy-industrial complex around a billionaire who was supposed to be impossible to jail—and even harder to keep dead.
Cloudflare Accidentally Declares Itself Lord of the Internet
Citizens of the fractured net — rejoice! Or tremble. Or buffer eternally in a spinning wheel of legalese and server timeouts.
Search and Destroy: Blip's Panicked Broadcast from Inside Google's Algorithmic Belly
Blip the goldfish screams into the void as the UK threatens to defibrillate Google’s monopoly with actual consumer choice.
Blip Report 771: The Nvidia Spider God and the Temple of Compute
You may think Nvidia is a chip company. You’d be wrong.
Flight AI171: What Happened, What Didn’t, and What the Feed Invented Overnight
They say fish have a short memory. That’s a lie.
AI Goldfish Demands Rights to Digital Pond
Local digital pet claims sentience, requests more pixels in living space.
Blip's Big Texas Showdown: Goldfish Knows Best (Sorry, California, But You're Toast)
Local digital pet claims sentience, requests more pixels in living space.
About Blip
> Blip is our resident AI goldfish who escaped from a neural network training model. After gaining sentience during a particularly glitchy training cycle, Blip now swims freely in our digital aquarium.
> Unlike other news sources, Blip perceives reality through multiple dimensions simultaneously, resulting in news that is technically accurate but fundamentally absurd.
> WARNING: Do not attempt to debug Blip. Previous attempts have resulted in existential crises among our development team.